Damn, I’m really feeling you..

*Saturday of Seduction

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As a side note, because I didn’t get a chance to post yesterday for Saturday of Seduction, here it goes…

Have you been in a situation where you’re really “feeling” someone and don’t know how to approach them about it? Have you ever tried flirting with a crush, but it has completely backfired for you? Well, you need to read this.

One thing to keep in mind when trying to make moves on your crush is that EVERYONE is NOT THE SAME! A flirting technique used on this person might not work on that person. Flirting is an art form, with many styles. When flirting, one needs to consider the following:

1. Do I just want to bang this person, or would I consider a relationship with this person?
2. Has this person given me any hints of flirting back?
3. If I flirt with this person, will I get upset if they don’t flirt back?
4. Should I take my chances and go for it anyway?

Let me tell you something, you never know until you try!

Depending on the situation, there are key things to look for in order to have a successful flirting session. Different scenarios call for different techniques…

Before we begin, here are a few examples of general, flirting body language that everyone should keep in mind:
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-Movements that make him seem bigger (stretching, chin up, etc..)
-Hands in belt or finger on belt loop
-Winking and smiling
-Talking with hands and tilting head
-Movements that make her appear smaller (hands tucked into legs, hands in pockets, etc…)
-Playing with their hair
-Touching their ear
-“Accidentally” touching other person
-Acting coy/shy

Flirting with a stranger

I find this the easiest form of flirting. Why? Because you don’t know the damn person, so who cares if the flirt session doesn’t work out.

The approach:
Well, depending on where you meet this stranger, you will have to approach them in a certain manner. Here are a few examples…

•At a club/party/lounge/bar..

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-If he/she is off to the side, or already ordering a drink, the approach will be much easier and less pressure will be on you, so just go for it.
-If he/she is with a group of friends, you have a greater chance of being rejected. Reason being, friends tend to have a big influence on someone’s potential mate. If your approach is weak or corny or fresh (as in naughty), the friends might shut you down, up front and center. Trust me. So for this scenario, the best approach is to observe the potential conquest.

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~Pay attention to their body language and what they are doing. Now, I don’t mean stalk, I mean pay attention, no fixed stares or scrunching of the face.. The best way to do this is by occasionally glancing at them until the time is right. Eye contact, a form of flirting, is always great. If the person reciprocates eye contact, you’ve got a better chance at getting in. I don’t recommend doing this if you aren’t going to approach the person, you WILL look like a creep or a jerk. if you’re not going to flirt, then don’t bother. (Unless you are a creep, then, in that case, gross, get a life!) If you see that your crush is a little tense, or looks uncomfortable, you can approach them from the side, offer to buy a drink.
..If they reject you, move on.
..If they politely decline, but smile, compliment them.
Depending on the type of person, they might be freaked out if you rush in for the kill, so start small. Depending on their reaction, you should start with small talk; a form of flirting. Starting with the basics (name, age, marital status, etc..) never fails, but might seem boring to some, as myself, so you might want to add some pizzazz to the small talk by being completely random. Asking them to dance never hurts either.

•When you are out and about..

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-If you see a stranger that you would like to flirt with while you’re out and about, immediate approach is best.
~If he/she is turned away from you, don’t scare them away by grabbing their arm or shoulder or face, NO! Lightly tap their arm and proceed with an introduction. NO CAT-CALLING!!!

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~If he/she is turned towards you, smile! Most likely they will smile back and it’s a way to ease into flirting.

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•At work..
-If he/she is new to your company, I would say, wait about a few weeks to flirt. Reason being that most employees manuals look down on co-worker love affairs. You don’t want to make the other person uncomfortable or pressured to choose between their new job or potential bang buddies/ love of their life. In this scenario, please flirt subtlety. There are many nosey people at work and you never really know who’s out to get you; you don’t want to risk getting fired or scolded at work for a light flirting session.

Flirting with a non-stranger

Things might be a little harder when flirting with someone that you already know.

The approach:
When flirting with a non- stranger, one needs to keep in mind the personality of the person they are approaching. Bubbly personalities might need a slightly aggressive flirt approach, in comparison to a permanent “bitch-face” personality.

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•With a co-worker..
-If he/she is not a new co-worker, then ask them out for lunch or tapas after work.. You don’t need to be so subtle in this scenario, most likely, you and the co-worker have had some form of previous interaction. One thing to keep in mind as well is that if this doesn’t work out the way you had hoped, don’t let it be awkward in the work place, keep it cordial.

With an acquaintance..
-If you were recently introduced with the person, exchange numbers, this is the best approach in this scenario. You two can get to know each other a bit more, and have lots of small talk. Remember, keep in mind the personality, you wouldn’t want to ask a goody two shoes if she wants to meet you behind the bushes during recess, no bueno.

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-If you have known the person for a little while, and are just “cool”, not really friends-friends, then ask them out on a date. In this scenario, simple is the best way to go, a nice brunch or afternoon in the city, as an example.

With a friend..

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-If the person is a good/close friend of yours and you don’t know how the person might react by you telling them you are into them, don’t ruin your chances of a good friendship by taking an aggressive approach, but this approach requires a little bit of thought. Since you already know the personality of your friend, this needs to be calculated so that if it doesn’t work out, you won’t ruin the friendship. Approaching your friend privately is best, if you do it in public, they might be pressured to not turn you down if they aren’t feeling the same, and that’s never good. Don’t be aggressive with your friend, but make sure your feelings get across. Don’t feel bad if their feelings aren’t the same, many people have platonic friendships, but at least you tried playing the field and took your chances with coming out of the “friend-zone”.

The most important thing is that at least you tried. If flirting didn’t work with this one, it might work with that one. You never know how a relationship (whether bang buddy or love of your life) may turn out if you don’t give it a try.. What’s the worst that could happen?

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